Thankful

This is a post I had on my facebook a few days back.....

Reflecting on what I'm thankful for this past year... there's more than I could ever account for.... God is so good and His promises are true and lasting.... I'll try to put into words where I'm most thankful... some of it is serious and some of the things I'm thankful for are lighthearted... but it's all with a thankful heart.
First, let me tell you that I am thankful beyond reason that I have a Savior who loves me enough to forgive my every screw up..... All I have to do is ask, and He holds NO record of it... if only humans were so forgiving.....
In January, most of you know I was in a very bad car accident.... it totaled our van, and I've had some pretty serious pain ever since.... As my husband and the police officer said, if he was just a few inches off, I may not have been here now... God kept me through that... and so I am trying my hardest to not squander the life He has given me.....
Our late winter/early spring months were spent on our knees going through one of the toughest battles emotionally and spiritually that I've ever gone through..... Can I tell you how thankful I am that I have a Bible? We spent a day finding God's promises for families..... we hand wrote them down and kept looking them over... it was so comforting to know what He promised, not just think it......
At the beginning of summer, Keenan lost his job of 15-ish years.... It was quite surprising and sneaky..... and even though my heart landed in my chest..... I wasn't afraid.... God gave such amazing comfort through a few select people.... it was amazing to see Keenan being offered jobs from places all over... his reputation as a mechanic far surpassed our realizations..... He had a job within about 2.5 weeks..... messed up some of our plans, but then again.... we trusted God and He has more than made up for it.
At the end of summer, we were faced with a very real possibility of loss of someone we love very much.... rushing to their side to comfort, take care of and knowing it was a goodbye, only to see God miraculously work through and and remove this person from death's doorstop, literally.... it was amazing... amazing....
The girls and I sat with the Robertsons during church service in August. We needed it.... we needed that little bright happy.... some may laugh, but most of you know how much I love my Duck Dynasty and well.... yeah... I was very thankful.... and it was a great church service, too!
I'm thankful that God has given me a homeschooling . I have to say I was nervous about homeschooling three children this year but it's going so well.... I never imagined at one point that God would give me another opportunity to teach in my home again.... I cannot thank Him enough.... to be able to watch their growth, their understanding, the changes every single day... it's one of the best things this year.....
We've had our hiccups and snags this past year.... and yet I constantly see the Mighty Hand of God moving in our lives... we've seen distrust restored.... we've seen relationships that were struggling due to outside influences healed.... we've seen forgiveness played out.... we've seen a very real evil invade and then get pushed back.....we've laughed, we've cried, we've felt defeated.... but the one that has not changed is "Trust God". He has been with us every step of the way.
Our enemy is real... our enemy wants godly families destroyed, Christians to waver and shake their faith.... to cause problems in marriages, homes, and jobs. But then.... But then.... there is God. Father. Son. Holy Spirit. All real. All one. ALL powerful.
My life is not the life it started out in January. It is drastically different. I am drastically different. I am more thankful now than I ever have been. Not one thing I listed was because of me. Or Keenan. Or our kids. Or a job. Not one thing. I am here because God has a purpose for me. Our kids are here with us because God wanted them here. Keenan is in a different job because God wanted him out of that dealership. My loved one is here because God has more restoration and healing to do through him.
All this to say:
I am thankful for Jesus Christ and His amazing gift
I am thankful for my husband who is willing to work hard to provide for his family, supports homeschooling, and invests in his kids
I am thankful for my children. I have a son who makes me laugh every single day. I didn't birth him but I couldn't have hand picked a better one.... I have a teenage daughter who blows me away with her Bible knowledge, her passion for band, and her amazing ability to forgive. I'm also thankful for another child I didn't birth, but who as time has moved on, has become so much like me in so many ways. We often think alike; her integrity, grit, and faith are amazing for such a young lady... and then there is my baby. The mere fact she is here is a blessing that I'll never grow tired of and her humor, passion for animals, and her insight to spiritual matters amazes me. God has truly given me the desires of my heart in these wonderful kids.
Thank you, Jesus for my life everlasting.

I'll be there for you.....

According to Webster's Dictionary, the following defines the word, "friend":

1

a :  one attached to another by affection or esteem

b :  acquaintance

2

a :  one that is not hostile

b :  one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3

:  one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4

:  a favored companion

5

capitalized :  a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker 

 

It's been said that friends come and go but family is forever.  Some might find this to be true, and others might find it to be the opposite.

 

Here is what I know a friend to be, and what I hope I have been as a friend:

- a person who loves you through the good times and the bad

- a person you can trust to be yourself with

- a person who will hold you accountable for your decisions and actions

- a person who forgives your faults and loves you in spite of them

- a person you can laugh at you and with you

 

To me, if I call you my "friend" then you are described by my definition and not Webster's.  I have very few close friends to me in this season of my life.  It is by choice.  Prior to my divorce, I had a long list of people I called "friend" but when the roughest season of my life came upon me, there were very few that truly were that.  It was a hard lesson learned, and yet... it was a good lesson.  I learned much through the "friends" who left my side.

 

Today is no different. I try to chose my friends wisely... I try to find people who are godly and will hold me accountable, and I them.  I try to find people that I know will be there at my worst and my best... and that I can be there for them.  I don't throw friendships away easily.... most times I will fight for that relationship.  I may not be able to save it but I do try my hardest.

 

I find the task of teaching my children what friendship is to be easy.  The reason is... I teach them from my life's experiences.  Ironically, the friendships that are the deepest are the ones where they have seen me at my worst and stood next to me... holding me accountable but loving me through my pain and mistakes.

 

I think of Becki Jo, Sissy, Jackie, and Michele. Oh... what they've endured to stay by my side and me for them. I would not be the person I am today without these special women in my life.  They are sometimes the tools God uses to shape and mold me.  He may provide the fire or He may let satan provide the fire, but God has certainly used them for the molding and filtering of inpurities.

We often think of how satan tries to come between our families/marriages, but what we forget, is he will destroy friendship in a heartbeat.  Normally the sin he uses is the sin of pride.  We are such a prideful race and no one wants to admit their wrongs and ask for forgiveness.  So when a friendship dies, withers or falls apart.. you know he is celebrating his victory.  Yet, when we allow God to show us how to forgive and love, it ruins the enemies plans and God gets the victory.

There are several friendships I see in my children's lives... some are healthy and some are not.  The ones that endure, are the ones where there is forgiveness, love and accountability.  I pray, too, my children will experience as they get older the longevity of true friendship, defined not by Webster or our society, but by God.

Reevaluate your friendships.  Are they based on what you think friendship is or should be, or do you base it on the mercy and forgiveness of the Savior of the world?

 

Rewinding Time

There are days... weeks, even, where all I want to do is press "rewind".  I have thought over my life on more than one occasion and there are a few places I would like to press that button and make different decisions.

Today was one such day.  After several attempts at trying to figure out how and why we are where we are, I kept thinking... "well, if only this had happened or I could say this instead of that..."

The Bible tells us not to live in the past, yet... oh, let's be honest... there are days where I would very much like to park myself at  a particular moment.

For instance, if I would have known that my youngest would outgrow snuggling as early as she did with me, I would park myself on that last morning where she said, "Can we snuggle?"  I would stay there for an eternity if I knew that were the last day.  It was our routine.  Before school, she would lay on me, against me or curl up to me and hold my hand.  No words were spoken, and often times she would fall asleep for a short nap.  Those were some of the best moments of my day, and it ended almost abruptly last year.  Yes.... I would very much like to live in that past moment.....

Another one that creeps into being every once in a while, is parking myself at Timahoe Circle.  Outside, in a green plastic chair watching my child run up and down the sidewalk with her very best friend, all while nursing a sleeping Beka in my arms.  Sharing life's joys and burdens with my sister-friend and deepening my relationship with God, all the while.  Squeals of laughter from Lexi and Caleb and the smell of my sleeping child nestled against me.... Yes, I would park myself there.

There are other moments where I would park myself... and there are some where I would change a decision or hurtful words....

I wish I could impart to my children the truths of what I have learned... and save them the pain of my mistakes or someone else's.  I wish I could hold them tight and rewind time for just a little bit... Even  a year, I would....

Or would I?  Because if I did that... well, I wouldn't have Sarah to kiss goodnight and laughter from Mikey each day....

Hmmm.... I guess that's why we can't hit the rewind, because if we did, we would miss too much of the present.